I am a self-confessed bookaholic. My passion for reading is such an integral part of my personality that anyone who knows me even a little cannot avoid noticing how my life is truly immersed in all things books related.
So often, I get asked questions about books. Questions that send me in a mild brain freeze, have me sweating at my armpits and fumbling at my mouth — as I try to find an answer that makes sense to a non-devourer of books.
I know from my discussions with other serious readers (yes; we are a tribe of our own), that I am not the only one who feels this way. So do your bookish friends a favor and try not to these ask questions.
‘What’s Your Favorite Book?
This is the first question people ask when they learn you love reading, and have no idea what to do with that information.
So out of politeness, with raised eyebrows and borderline feigned interest, they say— “What’s your favorite book?”
Huh! Favorite book? A book. One. A single blsajaljaljfamnkjk….aaaaaah!
That’s my brain falling apart as it jumps to my first memory of reading, a seven-year-old scrawny girl flipping through crispy pages of Amar Chitra Katha in the heat of Indian summer. Then a lightening speed fast-forward through a dizzying montage of every significant book that I have read in my life. A few familiars scream for attention but which one is going to make it to the top?
Will it be the wonderfully optimistic, emotional Anne of Green Gables that I loved as a young girl and that shaped so much of my childhood? Is it relevant to my life now? Or will it the hilarious adventures of Bertie & Wooster that helped me through my stressful high school years and made me a lifetime fan of British humor? Maybe I should mention the deeply feminist A Handmaid’s Tale, a novel I read in my first trimester of pregnancy (not a wise decision in hindsight); a book so powerful that it made me physically sick at the prospect of what the world was and could be?
And that’s just the three I can think of as I write this article. Ask me tomorrow and I will come up with a different list. It’s not that I don’t have favorites. I do, but it’s a transient, ever-transforming list. Our relationships with books that matter to us change as we go through life, it changes with every re-read. And to give one name is a disservice to that experience of reading.
“We don’t need to have just one favorite. We keep adding favorites. Our favorite book is always the book that speaks most directly to us at a particular stage in our lives. And our lives change. We have other favorites that give us what we most need at that particular time. But we never lose the old favorites. They’re always with us. We just sort of accumulate them.” — Lloyd Alexander
So if you really care about someone’s taste in books ask them this instead — em class=”pb”>“What genre do you prefer to read?” OR “Who are your favorite writers?” OR “Did you read anything good recently?”
These are much easier to answer. And it opens up the door of meaningful conversation.
Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash
“Whoa! Look At All Those Books On Your Shelves! Have You Read Them All ?”
Sigh! Let me break this to you. No bookworm has ever read every book they own. If they claim to, they are lying!/p>
For another fairly common trait, uniting all book addicts is a serious, often non-controllable habit of hoarding books.They find it impossible to pass through a bookstore without stepping in and spending money on books. Even more so these days, when bookshops are as rare a sighting as a unicorn.
The Japanese even have a term for this harmless if slightly cluttering habit — Tsundoku. It means acquiring reading materials but letting them pile up in one’s home without reading them. How appropriate.
“Providence has delivered me of every worldly passion, save this one; the desire to acquire books, new or old books of any kind, whose charms I cannot persuade myself to resist.” — John Henry Newman
So we tsundoku constantly. And with every new book we purchase, we also add to the cloud of guilt that hovers constantly over TBR piles. It’s not a light burden to carry around, trust me.
So here I am feeling guilty, a little ashamed and a tad pretentious about the pretty editions of ancient Greek Classics that I will never read, sitting on my overflowing bookshelves. And you come in and ask me that.
The answer to this question will always be “No, I haven’t”.
We know we have way too many books for this lifetime, so don’t remind us by asking that impossible question. Try ignoring the tottering pile of books or just compliment us on the collection.
“Can You Recommend Something To Read?”
Photo by Christin Hume on Unsplash
Ah, I both love and hate this question. The idea of evangelizing splendid books brings an almost fanatical gleam to my eyes, like a guru welcoming new members to his cult.
Yet, I am also terrified of the burden of responsibility placed on my shoulders.Reading is such a personal experience — who are we to determine what will someone like or dislike?My obsessive reading habits do not make me an expert in literary tastes of others. What if my recommendation puts you off from reading all together? What if your life needs a laugh, but I end up recommending The Stranger by Camus? There is no coming back from that.
“Employ your time in improving yourself by other men’s writings so that you shall come easily by what others have labored hard for.” — Socrates
But by all means, ask this question.
Keep asking for suggestions. Be prepared to hate a few books, but also be prepared to fall in love with books, with reading and with the idea of experiencing other lives.
We bookworms will always be there to talk about books.
Disclaimer–I have unapologetically generalized behaviors of bibliophiles. Being one myself, and having moved in similar, but shrinking circles of other readers, I have confidence in my assumptions. However, I have no statistical data to back it up. So take it as you will!
